Never be quick to be defensive when a discussion is being raised not in your favour. When you do this often you'd be considered as one who is not accountable— for every piece of advice or expression seems like a threat to you. Instead of listening with an open heart, you respond with a metaphorical shield and weapon.
The defensive communication definition ; a communicative conduct that takes place inside relationships, work environments, and social agencies when a man or woman reacts in a shielding manner in response to a self-perceived flaw or a chance from outsiders.
Such a person never learns or becomes better. Quick defensive behaviour during conversation comes from a place of guilt and feeling of being threatened or a personal attack.
— "Some women are selfish"
Defensive response: "Men are worse than women. ...bla bla bla"
It doesn't speak well of your communication skill.
In certain situations, it is understandable that defensive measures come from trauma. Yes, we all have this experience that made us defensive but sadly nobody cares in the case of first impressions. It makes people draw back from you and see you as one who isn't open to a discussion without being judgemental at every slight space a conversation doesn't go in your favour.
It's advisable to listen more than speak, even in criticism. Give your one cent not being overprotective. Trash out the topic first before being protective. Many people don't do this. Rather than trashing the topic, they dive into being defensive.
An open heart to conversations makes it easier for people to chat with you and it also builds your value.
0 Comments